“A relationship is meant for two. Some people just don’t know how to count.”
I read this quote somewhere but I have no idea who authored it so I apologize for not having given any credit.
Thank you though, for it sure did bring out a few of my thoughts on one of the most common reasons for breakups, failed marriages and broken families. Likewise, I will not discount the fact that it is also a reason for new beginnings, realistic choices and freedom.
Hence, this piece.
Have you always been secure in your relationship?
Have you ever wondered if he still made a phone call or sent a message to someone else after you exchanged goodnight texts? Or if he still drove off someplace else after he had brought you home? Or if he saved messages and photos in his password-protected Vault?
I know how it feels to be on both sides–the one who is not trusted and the one who does not trust.
Temptations are just about anywhere. Even the most passive people could tempt unknowingly; and their only fault is because they’re gorgeous or intelligent or good-hearted. Or even just for the simplest, less valid reasons that they smell fresh, or they have a nice voice or they have long shiny hair. The thoughts and the actions that come after are the triggers to a very thin line between plain admiration and eventual cheating.
There’s no way to control someone who cheats or lies or flirts. Even married couples who pledged to be as ‘one’ are not always on guard for each other. You cannot be with them 24/7. You cannot be human CCTVs all the time.
We are all capable of learning how to live a second life. It is just all dependent on our level of comfortability, or the values that we believe in, or the consequences that we are ready to face. Cheating is not an accident. It is a decision. If one decides to cheat, he or she will cheat. No amount of warning nor plea can even change that.
When we get cheated on, it feels like glass breaking where we even hurt ourselves more to piece them back together. Because even if it appears to be whole again, the cracks are still visible. The glass is just not the same anymore.
We tend to leave it all up to fate, and wait for what lies ahead. But it is not meant for us to be immobile and to feel helpless or unproductive. Rather, we can turn our heads to something that we have control over.
How about we try to be every woman we could possibly be in our man’s life…
His BEST FRIEND– whom he tells his secrets to; who lends an ear when he shares his thoughts; who sticks with him until the end.
His MOTHER — who teaches him right from wrong; who loves him unceasingly for what he is; who instantly knows when he is breaking without him having to say a single word.
His SISTER — whom he can be himself with and who can guide in his life’s decisions; who stays by his side to support his goals and dreams.
His DAUGHTER — who can bring out his natural tendency to protect and provide and be the man to be looked up to.
His GIRLFRIEND — whom he says sweet nothings to; whom he enjoys doing things together with; who promises to never let him go.
His WIFE — who takes that leap of faith and vows to love him in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse. Until death.
And his OTHER WOMAN — who catches his attention while we are busy being all those other women in our man’s life.
AND IF THIS STILL FAILS, maybe we can tell ourselves that we have given more than we should until there’s nothing more to give; that we cannot force-fit ourselves in someone’s life when it feels like the space is getting smaller as time passes by.
Maybe we have done our part.
The last resort is to let go.
“A relationship is meant for two. And if she cannot be out of the picture, I might as well be.”
(And you can quote me on that.)